


Chapter 58: Gordlock Companion

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Companion piece to Chapter 58 of falsteloj's Gordlock Fills.





	1. Chapter 58: Gordlock Companion - The Light

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Gordlock Fills](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9382553) by [falsteloj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsteloj/pseuds/falsteloj). 



> The wonderful/talented falsteloj has been working on "Gordlock Fills" (go read it!) and has graciously allowed me to write an inspired companion piece for Chapter 58 of that work. In her series Harvey is an only child; in this work he has siblings. This is only the first section of ideas I had that sparked off of falsteloj's original, thus more than likely there will be an additional "chapter(s)". 
> 
> Thank you for reading, all mistakes are my own. A great big welcome to falsteloj for allowing me to do this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey's seen Jim's light and he wants to see more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a companion piece to Starrrz's Gordlock chapter 57. Read it and love it. Special thanks to Starrrz for letting me bust in on the beautiful universe you constructed.
> 
> Comments, questions, kudos, criticisms welcome!

** Chapter 57: Gordlock Companion - The Light **

The Narrows: Gotham 1970's

With nine kids in the apartment and what seemed like hundreds of cousins passing through the doors, there was never a dull, childless moment in the Bullock household. Grace Catharine Fiona Olive Bullock never minded the noise, but her youngest son and sixth child Harvey sometimes needed a little break from the chaos. Usually he'd hunker in a crawlspace beneath their building in the predominately Irish Catholic tenements of Gotham, and listen to cassette tapes he had made of Grace's old blues and big band records. He was not typically a quiet child, but he had learned the art of sitting still if she tugged on his ear hard enough in Church. He was as loud, rambunctious as all her other children but he was her favorite and she was his. They had a secret understanding with one another. Her grandmother Fiona; for whom she was named; had always told her when she was younger that she would have a special child who had been blessed by the fey. Grace believed that child to be her little Harvey, who had a sweet undercurrent in him that he hid from the other children. Unless it served their needs through the implementation of justice. Grace also believed that Harvey was destined to help allot of people and because of that become a very beloved man. Yet at eight years old when he was howling at midnight that the angry man a floor down wouldn't stop kicking his youngest daughter, and the voices in the tenement were far too loud; all she could do was hold him and sing softly to him until he fell asleep. She sent her husband down a floor the next day to confront the girl's father and the family moved away a month later. The man still had bruises from where Harvey's father had kicked him in the face.

 

Grace told Harvey he was special, attempted to help him get his abilities under control, but seeing auras frightened him and the emotions and voices were often impossible to decipher. He often couldn't concentrate and gave up altogether. Already pudgy as a child the last thing Harvey wanted was to be was singled out and labeled as a ‘freak’. Children were cruel, his older brothers had taught him this lesson early on so in the apartment it was either bully or be bullied, and outside in the neighborhood Harvey was someone who didn’t do either.  He blended in, was just good enough at some things and bad enough at others that he could easily acquire friends and comrades in arms by the droves. He was very selective about whom he told what, especially when it had to do with his abilities. Those he chose to keep to himself upon seeing how the different were treated in the world around him by adults, let alone their children.

 

Harvey trusted his mother however, looked for little moments he could approach her when the apartment was somewhat calm and his siblings and father were otherwise occupied.  Sometimes she would approach him, touch his hair and smile down at him with tenderness that relaxed him to the core. He knew she knew; understood. Even if she didn’t experience what he did she tried to see his point of view.  She was his confidant even on the days he hated his ‘gift’ and hearing about how ‘special’ he was made his intestines seize.  He had met his great grandmother once when he was five, but as far as he could recall she hadn’t been that impressed with him. Poked him with her cane and told him he was too fat, therefore too soft, and was going to regret being born if he didn’t toughen up.  Grace had told him to pay her no mind but he saw the hurt flash around her aura as acutely as he felt her pain.  He remembered his mother explaining that this was her ‘touched child’ but his great grandmother had just laughed and started choking. After that Grace had whisked him away and he had never seen the old lady again.

 

As he grew older his powers somewhat honed but often caused fights at school because Harvey could tell when people were lying. While he couldn't really control the cavalcade of emotions and thoughts that plagued him, he could pretend they didn't exist. The only aspect he learned to fully see yet conceal from others was his ability to see auras. In his late thirties knew that Grace was sick before the doctors knew; before his mother told him, she was dying. Of all her children Harvey was the one who moved back home to help care for her even though one of his sisters just lived down the block from his parents. He stayed until she died at home holding his hand. She made him promise her to always use his gift to help others; to be the good man she knew he was; and to love others and live life to the fullest. He made all the promises he knew she wanted to hear and vowed to keep them. When she died the ability to uphold his promises died with her by degrees. His partnership with Dix, and his struggles following it had him doubting if he were ever a good man and his so called "gift" wasn't the curse he secretly believed it to be. These thoughts carried him until James Gordon walked on to the bullpen floor of the Gotham City Police Homicide Department.

 

The strength of his presence, the scope of his aura nearly knocked Harvey back into his chair. The light shining off the kid was like someone had flipped a switch and the sun lit up the entire room. It was gold, white, and flashed bright with intention before it dimmed to a shimmer like an Elvin movie effect in the Peter Jackson movies. It was beautiful; Jim Gordon was beautiful; there was a vulnerability to the colors closer to his skin. Blues, pinks, yellow and light orange displayed there shinning just for Harvey's eyes.  Right out of the gate however Harvey discovered that as beautiful as Jim’s light was, the man himself was a complete asshole.  He was pigheaded, rude, short sighted, self-righteous, arrogant, reckless and about half a dozen other insults Harvey could list in a few seconds that all equaled Jim Gordon’s personality in a nutshell.

 

But as much of an ass hat as Jim was, there could be no denying by anyone in the station house that Gordon was an extremely effective and talented cop.  He got his collars because he wasn’t afraid to work the case to wherever it might lead him.  He got the arrests and they stuck because he dotted his I’s and crossed every one of his damned T’s. His reports read with military precision which wasn’t a surprise due to his previous employment by Uncle Sam.  And low to admit it Harvey clashed with Jim Gordon. They came to a literal shoving match and the moment Harvey’s hands touched Jim’s body electricity shot through him. At first, he didn’t know if he had been blown back by the force of it, or pushed by Jim. Either way his body was alive beneath the electric current and all he wanted was to reach out and touch that fire again. His hands ached for it, fingers itching to touch Jim’s brightness and his bare flesh anyway possible.

 

Once the smoke cleared and the two became actual friends every time Harvey touched Jim he felt the same current and longed to do more than place a hand upon Jim’s shoulder in passing, or tap his arm to get his attention.  He would find excuses to stand too close, or sit too near just so he could feel the heat of the light that always shown around Jim like a beacon of hope.  He pinned over Jim and when Barbara Kean vanished from the picture he couldn’t help but fantasize about becoming the one to fill Jim’s off duty time.  However, Jim Gordon threw himself into his work as a remedy to his broken heart and before Harvey even had a chance to ease Jim into hanging out with him outside of the precinct on an accelerated basis, Lee Tompkins entered Jim’s life.  Of course; why wouldn’t she? Jim wanted an intelligent, beautiful, **_woman_** to occupy his time. Whatever made Harvey even entertain the absurdity that whom Jim really yearned for was a middle aged, tarnished cop, with a bad liver and too many extra pounds on his middle?  While Jim had never given any inclination that he had ever been with a man, Harvey hadn’t volunteered that information about himself either. There were somethings he wasn’t comfortable talking about with his gorgeous, young, shinning partner. It was more than obvious which side of the bread Jim spread the butter on and it wasn’t pasty, bearded, pudgy, bags of bad news like Harvey Bullock.

 

Harvey swallowed his feelings with whiskey and berated himself for secretly wishing that the relationship would run its due course and Jim would turn to him for companionship, all be it platonic and brotherly.  Then new colors showed up in Lee’s aura and Harvey knew that could only mean one thing; she was pregnant. Pregnant with Jim’s child. Jim was over the moon about it, nervous; but happy and there was no force in existence that could make Harvey begrudge that blessing for the couple.  Until Jim Gordon was locked up in Blackgate and Lee came to him, worn, frayed and in darkness surrounding her. She asked Harvey to do the unimaginable with tears in her eyes and pain in her soul; how could he refuse? She was hurting too and could not face Jim. He wouldn’t see her and Jim needed to know the truth. The burden fell upon Harvey’s shoulders and he despised every second of breaking Jim further, darkening him and muting his beautiful light. He felt as if he were committing murder and there was nothing he could do to prevent himself from striking the death blows.

 

Yet Jim survived; barely; but he was released from Blackgate. Lee Tompkins was gone and Harvey had sold his soul to the devils of Gotham for the chance to save even a sliver of Jim’s breathtaking light. Jim’s shimmer might be muted, turning gray but within his mind he was screaming for support in his crusade and someone; anyone to love him despite how he continually pushed them away.  There was an immense loneliness in Jim that Harvey longed to soothe, in Jim’s teens and young adulthood he had learned to isolate, depend upon himself and shielded his heart from opening to get hurt. Perhaps it was due to his father’s death, or just the way Jim was hardwired. Regardless Harvey recognized that as much as Jim professed to be an island he was part of the city and in desperate need of tending.  Harvey knew his large hands were gentle; accepted that he could love someone that deemed themselves ‘unlovable’; and would do anything thing, face anything to prove it to Jim. But if Jim refused to open his eyes to see Harvey’s efforts it was all for naught. Yet Harvey continued to love Jim anyway. Harvey was not about to sit around and allow Jim’s light to die; not fade like his mother’s, nor all of Jim’s hopes and dreams for the City of Gotham and her people.

 

The night Harvey broke came when Jim stayed the night at his apartment. They had been out drinking, Jim was morose and feeling particularly defeated and ruminated upon an endless loop about his personal limitations and losses. One by one Jim flayed himself with each glass shard of failure or loss and bled through his tears. He was alone, afraid and screaming out for someone, anyone to please love him: rescue him from his obelisk fortress against the world.  Inside it was the little boy holding his knees to his chest, hugging himself with his arms, crying for salvation.  Harvey couldn’t ignore the tears, the pleas, the devastated energy pouring off Jim like water over falls.  The moment Harvey exited his bedroom and saw Jim his bones ached with empathy for the shattered man.

 

Harvey pulled Jim into his arms, held him close and refused to release him. He whispered soft comforts of ‘I know’, ‘It’s all right’, and ‘I’m here’. When Jim finally relented, and embraced him back Harvey’s affection for him and hope burst forth blowing a few layers of Jim’s darkness away. He never wanted to let Jim go, but eventually a flattened hand softly pushed against Harvey’s chest and he severed the embrace.  Jim wiped his face, nodded and thanked Harvey. He backed away and sat upon the couch looking up at his partner in indication.  Drawn to his light like a moth to flame Harvey took the risk and sat down next to him.

 

“Harvey, I’m sorry I- “

 

“Don’t apologize Jim.” He was interrupting but Harvey knew what his partner was about to say.  “It’s not weakness if you share the load once and a while, right?”

 

Grateful Jim inhaled and offered Harvey a genuine smile on the exhale. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah. I absolutely do.” Harvey nodded and wished he was wearing more than boxers and a tee shirt, Jim though- the man was stripped to his underwear and shirt.  He had never touched Jim while in such a state of undress and he couldn’t help but feel the longing vibrations of his own body, and that electric heat he always felt whenever he touched Jim. Skin on skin contact magnified the effect and Harvey ran his hand back through his hair hoping he would not sprout an erection over it.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

 

Jim shrugged. “We don’t really talk much about, you know; our pain.”

 

Harvey didn’t require special abilities to know that Jim was a little ashamed of his tears, or at the least being caught crying them.  “Pain’s a part of life Jim.” He told his best friend what Grace said to him as a child. “Tears are just as natural as laughter; pain as love. There is no shame in feeling something, just be kind to others when you act on them.”

 

“That’s, that’s really nice.” Jim looked at Harvey as if perhaps seeing him in a different light. “Where did you hear that?”

 

“My Mother- “Harvey cleared his throat and steadied his tone. “My Mom. She was a firm believer in compassion and being nonjudgmental.” Harvey shrugged. “At least I got half the equation right.” His self-deprecating expression pulled a disagreeing smile from Jim.

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Sell yourself short like that Harvey. You’re a good man. If I don’t have to hide my tears around you, you shouldn’t have to hide that around me.”

 

Harvey stretched an arm out along the ridge of the couch, fingers nearly brushing Jim’s hair and the nape of his neck.  “You think so huh?” Jim’s expression corroborated the sentiment and Harvey nodded. “Okay, deal. But if I wanna cry does that mean you’ll be a decent guy?”

 

Jim laughed and wiped a hand down his face before looking back at Harvey.  “All I can do is my best.”

 

Harvey held out his hand to Jim and they shook hands, Jim smiling and Harvey’s fading as his palm heated from Jim’s touch. He truly was a handsome man; beautiful blue eyes, sinfully long eyelashes, plush lips, and the cut of his jaw all produced a symmetrical masterpiece in Harvey’s opinion. It was far too easy for him to become lost staring at Jim or into his gaze. He came crashing back to reality when Jim went to withdraw his hand and Harvey hesitated upon releasing him.  It was the surprise in Jim’s eyes, how they darted from their union of hands to Harvey’s face and back again.

 

“Sorry.” Harvey’s hand tingled from the loss of contact. For a few minutes, they sat in compatible silence and it was Jim that finally broke the moratorium on conversation.

 

“What do you do, when all the things you did to staunch the pain no longer work?”

 

“Drink more.” Was Harvey’s initial dead pan answer. He sighed wishfully and his fingertips brushed lightly over Jim’s nape causing the younger man to shiver. “Sorry.” Jim waved him off in dismissal, then Harvey continued gently, “I’m Irish, Jim so I’m the wrong guy to ask that. All we do is shoulder the extra pain and keep working, drinking, fucking, eating, smoking, shitting- just keep on going.”

 

Jim touched his fingertips together to prevent himself from reaching out and placing his hand upon Harvey’s arm or leg. Dejected he leaned a little towards the other man and hung his head, looking up through his lashes at him. “Is that what you do?”

 

It was breaking Harvey’s heart to see the innocent plea in Jim’s big, blue eyes and he wanted nothing more than to squelch the agony he saw in them.  “No I- “He faltered swallowing the ‘ _I fantasize about you_ ’ down and shook his head. “I look at you and all the trouble with your girl’s and thank my lucky stars I’m still single.” He meant it as a joke and Jim understood that and to drop the topic as well.

 

Instead he asked, “How did you know I was in trouble out here? I wasn’t making any noise.”

 

Harvey swallowed his posture instantaneously tense. It was too late for Harvey to deflect his subconscious movements but his words could redirect if he chose them wisely. “I’m a detective Jim. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to see how broken up you’ve been lately. You’ve endured allot and I don’t know, it made sense that you’d be chasing your tail and wallowing. Hell, I know I would be in your shoes.”

 

Jim arched an eyebrow. “How did you know, Harvey?”

 

Harvey’s lips pursed. “Jim,” He drew out the name.

 

“Hey, it’s not weakness if you share the load once and a while, right?”

 

Harvey grunted at having his own words thrown back into his face so innocently, but Jim was far from oblivious to what he was saying, the intensity of his gaze giving him away.

 

“I’m sensitive to people’s energies. And yours was screaming that you were pain so I, you know, just came out here to help you be okay.”

 

Intrigued Jim’s gaze narrowed a little. “You kept saying that you knew. As if you could feel what I was feeling- “

 

Harvey pointed quickly at Jim. “Don’t you say it! Don’t you call me an empath, Jim! Things like that are, are- “

 

“Are **real**.” Jim stated without judgement. He regarded Harvey for a few seconds seeing the fear clearly within his light gaze.  “Are you a sensitive of some sort? Because if you are,” Jim paused and reached out with a hand and touched Harvey’s thigh, nearly causing the other man to jump and they stared at one another for several seconds, Jim neither moving nor withdrawing his hand.

 

Harvey closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders rounded forward and it was his turn to hang his head and look up at Jim.  “If I tell you, _promise_ me; **_promise_** that you won’t tell anyone. _Ever_.”

 

“I promise.” Jim’s voice was so soft, sincere that Harvey knew he had lost all ability to deny Jim anything but complete honesty.

 

“Mom said it was a gift, but to me, it always felt like a curse. Being different in my neighborhood made you a target. I was a big, fat, loud kid that had enough trouble blending in without something like… whatever it is that I have getting out.” Harvey took a deep breath, his entire leg radiating with heat from Jim’s touch, and if the younger male withdrew his hand Harvey was going to lunge forward to prevent him from leaving. Fortunately for him Jim didn’t move, he merely listened. When Harvey was finished, the hand moved from his leg but settled upon his arm instead.

 

Harvey couldn’t believe how accepting and supportive Jim was being regarding his abilities. He thought for certain at the mention of auras that Jim would poke fun at him in some capacity, yet Jim surprised him. He asked Harvey questions, most pertaining to if the abilities caused Harvey any pain or not, and Jim was also curious about what Harvey saw when he looked at him. That question was a pleasure to answer and afterward Jim’s pain abated and they sat comfortably in silence for several minutes processing all that had transpired between them.

 

“You could have told me before now.” Jim gently reprimanded.

 

Harvey shook his head. “I don’t tell anybody. Not since Mom- “He faltered and abruptly found the hem of his t-shirt utterly fascinating. “She and I talked about it, but as I said,” He paused and made eye contact with Jim once more. “when she passed, there wasn’t anyone else I wanted **to** tell. Until I met you.”

 

Jim smiled at that news and relaxed further into the couch, his head resting back upon Harvey’s forearm. His neck was warm on Harvey’s flesh and he felt his stomach erupt into a flock of birds launching themselves into the sky. Their wings beat upon his ribs as his heartbeat sped up slightly in anticipation.  The beaming smile Jim flashed him melted Harvey’s heart.

 

“I’m glad you can confide in me. I want you to.”

 

Harvey couldn’t resist allowing the fingers of his left hand; the arm trapped beneath Jim’s head; to scratch the side of his head near the crown. “I’ll remember that next time I have something to whine about.”

 

“Shut up.” Jim laughed his legs opening a little further at the direction.

 

“Talk? Shut up? Geez Gordon pick one already and stick with it.” He winked at Jim and Jim’s knee pushed at Harvey’s.

 

They sat up for a few minutes later before Jim yawned and said, “Thanks Harvey. I mean it. You’re the best friend I’ve had in a long, long time.”

 

There was nothing for Harvey to say in return and he silently disengaged himself from Jim before rising to stand. “We better get some shut eye if we expect to catch any bad guys.”

 

“Good night, Harvey.”

 

“Night Jim.” And still sleep did not come to Harvey as he hugged his pillow against his chest, head on the vertical end.  It was so unfair to love someone so much and not be able to tell them. Jim didn’t want to hear the words and Harvey wasn’t certain he could even say them convincingly.  However, for the next few hours Jim slept and his bright shine could be seen beneath Harvey’s bedroom door. Jim was calm at last.

 

 


	2. Chapter 57: Gordlock Companion – The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey thinks he has a dream; but it's far more than he thinks it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a companion piece to Starrrz's Gordlock chapter 57. Read it and love it. Special thanks to Starrrz for letting me bust in on the beautiful universe you constructed.
> 
> Comments, questions, kudos, criticisms welcome! 
> 
> As always to my muse, my beautiful wife who puts up with me talking about Jim/Harvey now. She's a saint people, trust me!

** Chapter 57: Gordlock Companion – The Broken **

When a child was either a victim or potential victim in a case even the gruffest of facades crumbled to show the human heart beneath. Harvey Bullock was no different.  And even though Jim rarely brought up, or spoke of Harvey’s abilities as per request; in Jim’s eyes the case now took precedent to their gentleman’s agreement.  Jim pulled Harvey off to a secluded corner, blue eyes beseeching; Harvey knew he could deny Jim nothing.

 

“I need you to run open on this one Harvey.”

 

“Huh? What does _that_ mean?”

 

Jim frowned, frustrated that he had assumed Harvey’s notice of energies wasn’t automatic. He felt guilt at having to explain himself.  Jim’s fingers tightened around Harvey’s forearm and he gave a quick glance around to make certain their conversation remained private. Jim leaned towards him, “You know, your _abilities_?”

 

Harvey’s expression fell and he took a subconscious step backward yet Jim held him fast.  “Look, I know. I know how you feel- “

 

“No!” Snapped Harvey pointing an extended finger into Jim’s face. “You don’t.”

 

“I meant about talking about and using them but,” Jim’s gaze begged. “There’s a little girl out there that needs our help. I’m not saying we can’t crack this perp on our own, I’m just asking you to use a little finesse with him. Feel him out with your,” Jim clamped his mouth shut as a Uniformed officer passed behind Harvey. Once they were alone once more he continued. “you know. That’s all I’m asking; is to be open to that.”

 

Harvey growled low in his chest and looked away as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and a thin line. “Alright.” He surrendered begrudgingly. He pointed at Jim once more. “Don’t get used to this, though. It happens **if** it happens but I don’t force it on principle, understood?”

 

“Yeah.” Jim vowed gently pushing Harvey’s hand down with his opposite hand; he still held on to the older man’s arm. “I do. Copy that.”

 

Harvey nodded once as if the entire conversation had been his doing and withdrew from Jim’s touch. The next several hours were exhausting and drained Harvey to his core. But they had rescued the child alive and locked up a murderer for the rest of his natural life. All in all, a good day but it came at a heavy price for Harvey. Unexpectedly Jim rose to the occasion and accompanied him home. No one in the precinct had to know that Jim drove, or helped Harvey to the elevator and down the hall to his apartment. And they sure as hell didn’t have to know that Jim spent the rest of night there taking care of him.

 

“You don’t have to do this you know.” Harvey said for what felt like the umpteenth time that evening.  Jim had just returned from a run to the store for fresh ingredients to make them a hot dinner, plus a few toiletries for himself.

 

“It’s nothing. I **want** to do this.”

 

“Yeah?” Harvey demanded pulling the blanket Jim had tucked around him prior to leaving for the store. Harvey was seated upon the couch wearing a pair of sweats, socks and a t-shirt depicting the logo of a bar in Ireland. “Well maybe I don’t want you fretting over me like some house frau. Ever consider that?”

 

“No. Not once.” Jim opened a bottle and handed it to Harvey. “Drink this. Dinner’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

 

Harvey watched Jim exit to the kitchen, not able to help himself from watching the swing of his hips as he walked and the shape of his ass. Yes, he was a dirty old man in the making but how could anyone _not_ look at Jim Gordon? Did he even know that his gate caused his hips to move? It was a masculine sway, but eye catching none the less; mesmerizing to Harvey every damn time Jim took a step. Harvey decided Jim was completely oblivious to such seductions as per usual and looked at the bottle. Upon reading the label he frowned.

 

“Pedialyte? What the hell, Jim? This is for **babies**!”

 

“I know.” Jim called from the kitchen. “You’re the biggest baby I currently have in my life. It’s also healthier than any of the sports drinks so, stop complaining.”

 

“I wasn’t complaining,” Harvey defended himself sullenly taking the cap off the bottle. “Just asking.” Harvey grimaced at the taste and wondered why everything that was supposed to be healthy for people always tasted so bad. By the time Jim returned from the kitchen Harvey had managed to choke down two thirds of the drink. He had to admit he felt a little better at having the electrolytes in his system.  He pulled the blanket around him like a cocoon as Jim took the bottle from him and placed it on the coffee table.

 

“Want to eat out here, or at the table?” Jim asked plopping down on the couch right beside Harvey. He put his feet up on the coffee table as well and ran a hand back through his blond hair. Harvey ached to touch Jim and fuss over him a little but Jim had made it quite clear whom the patient was in this instance.

 

“Here’s fine.”  The expression on Jim’s face indicated Harvey had chosen wisely and he shook his head with a knowing smirk.

 

“What’s that for?” Jim asked his smile bright, eyes twinkling.

 

Harvey held up a palm. “Nothing’s just- “He paused and shrugged before adding. “Thought mister rules would force us to eat at the table.

 

“Mister rules? That’s harsh.”

 

Harvey chuckled unable to deny it. “You should hear the things they call you at the precinct.”

 

“Mmm I can just imagine.” Jim’s smile fell. “I already know what they say.” He said in all seriousness. Sympathy framed Harvey’s features as he looked at Jim apologetically. “Just like I know you’re the only one that doesn’t gossip about me. Which means allot Harvey. Thank you.” He rested his hand upon Harvey’s leg and even through the blanket and sweat pants Harvey could feel the warmth of Jim’s palm.

 

“Those sons of bitches don’t know a real cop when they see one.” Harvey informed laying his head back upon the ridge of the couch. He was slumped a little in his posture and wished that Jim’s hand would move inappropriately up his thigh. “They’ll get theirs and when they do, you’ll be the one serving it to them.”

 

Jim considered this and raised his eyebrows before glancing away. “We’ll see.” He stated somewhat dejectedly.

 

Harvey nudged him with his shoulder and they made eye contact. “Hey, thanks for today.” He motioned with his hand beneath the blanket. “All this, it means allot to me too.”

 

Jim’s smile was achingly beautiful and his mind was so calm Harvey almost didn’t recognize their tethered connection for what it was initially. He wanted to reach out with a hand and stroke Jim’s cheek, lean forward and taste his lips with his own. He wanted to cuddle against the younger man, be embraced by him and silently wait for dinner to be finished cooking. He wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep breathing in Jim’s scent and luxuriating in the warmth of his solid body. He was so in love with the man it was pathetic but at least if Jim suspected he had never let on or rejected Harvey for his feelings.

 

“Taking care of you?” Jim blushed a little and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s no trouble I just- “Jim was interrupted by Harvey’s laughter. “What?” He couldn’t help chuckling with him.

 

“My two ex-wives would beg to differ.” Harvey teased nudging Jim once more just so he could have an excuse to touch him.

 

“Well,” Jim considered the ex-wives point of view and conceded in their favor. “We’re not ever talking marriage, just a little TLC after what you went through today.”

 

Harvey nearly physically recoiled from the harmless remark. He was so raw from utilizing his talents on the case, from loving Jim so completely for so long and being denied his heart’s desire that even that little statement cut. It wasn’t like Jim was saying he wouldn’t marry someone like Harvey, he was only saying he wasn’t one of Harvey’s ex-wives. But Harvey’s heart couldn’t tell the difference and knowing that he was once more nothing but a friend to Jim hurt. It would be easy for Jim to miss read Harvey’s expression as pain from the case, and he was going to do nothing to sway him from that belief. The look on Jim’s face was one of concern and regret, but Harvey knew Jim had no idea of what he truly wanted an apology for.

 

“Yeah, well. I did what I had to.”

 

“I know you did.” Harvey felt Jim’s hand constrict a little upon his leg. Jim’s eyes pleaded with his own. “You reunited that family; saved that little girl because you didn’t give up. Because you manipulated that bastard into showing his cards. You’re a good cop Harvey, and a far better man.”

 

A scoff caught in Harvey’s throat choked by emotion. “Again, I defer to the rantings of my exes on that one, Kid.”

 

Jim frowned, his shoulders dropping. “And again, I remind you not to be so self-deprecating. It’s not an attractive quality.”

 

“Do I even _have_ any of those?” Harvey teased attempting to draw himself away from his hurt and lighten the mood between them.

 

“Yes.” Jim smiled. The hand he had resting upon Harvey’s leg lifted so Jim could wrap it around Harvey’s shoulders. “Humility is one.”

 

“Naa.” Harvey disagreed sounding more like a game show buzzer than speaker. “Me? Never!”

 

Jim leaned towards him and placed a kiss upon his temple and patted his shoulder, grin warming the room and light shining brightly. “You? Always.” Jim disagreed before rising from the couch and messing up Harvey’s hair with a hand before disappearing into the kitchen. “Hope you’re hungry!”

 

Harvey gulped. He was famished for Jim and he could feel his skin tingle where Jim had kissed him. He ached for the weight of that arm around his shoulders and longed for such intimacy from Jim once more. What did he have to do to make Jim do that again? Nearly die? Harvey took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt stupid for loving Jim as he did but he could do little else. His mother had told him he had his abilities for some greater purpose, but in all honesty Harvey was beginning to believe his only reason for living was Jim Gordon: regardless of how Jim did or didn’t feel about him in return.

 

That night as Harvey lay in bed he stared at the ceiling and remembered moments with his mother. He needed her advice now; to hear that he was being an idiot and to let go of Jim and the last threads of hope. He needed her no-nonsense honesty and then her tender comfort after he began to cry. His best friend was sleeping next to him but it felt like he was miles away and Harvey was alone once more.  He dozed off a couple of hours prior to sunrise and began dreaming.

 

His mother had a love of Victorian houses and used to cut out pictures from listing posts of houses along the eastern part of the country for sale. Or she would find colored pictures in renovation magazines and ad those to her collection.  She kept a cigar box full of carefully cut photographs and she made a collage or two. She would have a cup of tea before the children arrived home from school and sit with her dream home pictures and imagine herself living in them. She never did get to own her house, but Harvey knew about her tea time. A few instances when he was home from school sick with a fever, she allowed him to participate in them. He dreamed of that occasion, only this time he was an adult and they were in the lush parlor out of one of her collages.

 

“Ma?”

 

Grace smiled warmly at Harvey and set her tea cup down upon it’s matching saucer. The china; Harvey recognized as her own; had been imported from Scotland as a wedding gift for her and Harvey’s father. The gift illustrated just how little his father’s family thought of Grace; she was an outsider; awful lot like a Scot; or someone just as undesirable. Grace had found it difficult to hold a grudge when she discovered the pieces were stamped with ‘made in Taiwan’.

 

“Are your hands clean, Harvey? Did you wash them?”

 

Harvey looked at his hands and for a split second thought he saw them bloodied and soiled. He raised them to examine his palms and felt a chill run down his spine. No; not clean. Hadn’t he and Jim been doing such meaningful work that some of the grime would have faded by now? At the thought of Jim, Harvey noticed his hands were suddenly immaculate and he shook his head to clear it of the hallucination. He smiled tenderly at Grace. She looked like she had before she fell ill; beautiful and shinning with life.

 

“Yeah, Ma. I think I finally did.” He moved to where she sat and placed a hand upon her shoulder, leaned forward and tenderly kissed her cheek. She beamed at him and took his face in her hands, stroking back his hair.

 

“I am so proud of the man you are Harvey.” She kissed him on the lips and released her hold upon his face. Moving slightly, she turned towards him and patted the cushion next to her. Obediently Harvey sat down and took off his hat; this he placed on the arm of the couch and faced his mother. She took his hands in her own and petted them gently for several seconds as she gathered her words. “I love you with all of my heart and more, but- “She paused and made certain she held his gaze firmly within her own.  “You’re in so much pain. I feel it every day, and it breaks my heart to see you so alone.” Grace cradled one of Harvey’s cheeks in her hand.  “When you love someone, you tell them.”

 

“Mom, I can’t.” Harvey bemoaned with tears prickling his eyes. “Jim, he’s not like me. He doesn’t, _swing_ on the hinges I do.”

 

Grace frowned and stroked her son’s hair. “When you love someone, you tell them. It is a gift you’re giving them and not for you to dictate what they do in return, or feel. You **_know_** that Harvey. Just like you know Jim Gordon needs you to tell him the truth.”

 

Harvey hung his head forward and tears escaped his eyes and dripped into his beard. Both of his hands enclosed his mother’s right hand as the left continued to stroke his hair and wipe away his tears.  “He’ll leave me if I do.” The admission was so quiet, Harvey’s voice sounding so small that Grace could almost believe he were five years old again begging to crawl into her lap to ‘hide from the colors’ that plagued him.

 

“Oh Honey.” Grace leaned in and kissed his forehead.  “That’s your fear, not the facts.” She nudged his chin with her fingertips and he looked at her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.  “You are his family. He won’t leave you. So, tell him and let him decide how _he_ feels and tell you what _he_ thinks.”

 

“Ma,” Harvey whispered sniffing in attempts to buy himself time to steady his voice. “I miss you so damn much. You’d love Jim. I know you would.”

 

“I already do.” She tugged her hand free of his grip and opened her arms. In a breath, Harvey was there holding his mother tightly and being held in return. He let his tears fall letting go of his grief and pent up agony.  “It’s all right my little love. Mama’s here and I have you.” She kissed his head and held him. Harvey didn’t know how long it took for him to stop crying, but the next sensation that he was aware of he had.

 

“I love you Mom.”

 

“I love you too little red lion. But it’s time for you to use your gift for your destiny. It will hurt, it will frighten you, but I promise you- the moment is coming and you’ll know. But you’ll be brave Harvey; just like the red lion I know you are.  Believe in that and you won’t fail.”  Once more Grace held his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, the tip of his nose, his lips and finally chin. Smiling brightly at him she straightened his shirt collar and buttons.  “Now, have some tea with me and tell me all the things you need to say.” The expression on her face was one of mischievous anticipation as if what Harvey was about to tell her was gossip instead of his deepest vested secrets.

 

Harvey couldn’t help but chuckle and reached for the tea pot with slightly shaking hands. Grace stilled them in her warm palms and then took the pot herself. She poured him a cup full and sweetened it for him before handing the cup and saucer to him.  “Thanks Ma.” Grace’s smile brightened and she reached for her own cup.

 

“Now, talk.”

 

Harvey did. He told her about his naiveite upon joining the Gotham Police Force. He explained to her about his fall from the just path and confessed to his greatest sin of murder. She nodded and listened, offering him comfort and understanding without judgement. He knew that her views were on the side of not killing, however she didn’t reprimand him for his decision to keep breathing. Nor did she judge him for pulling the trigger instead, on that distant night in an alley with a gun to his own head.  Lastly, he told her about Jim; his light, their meeting, Jim’s personality, how deeply he fell in love with the younger man and when. He told her all his hopes and non-sexual fantasies about Jim as well. When he was finished talking the tea pot was empty, several of the finger foods were consumed, and his mother was laughing and wiping tears of mirth from her gaze. Harvey could always make her laugh.

 

“Oh my, well! I think Jim would have his hands full with you, my little lion. So full!”

 

Harvey couldn’t help but blush at the compliment regarding his behavior as well as the innuendo he suspected his mother was slipping into the conversation by the glint in her eyes.  “Ma, I didn’t grow _that_ much from last time you saw it.”

 

Grace batted playfully at her son. “Incorrigible!” She accused giggling. The emotion passed with their laughter and only their smiles remained.  “I’ve enjoyed our tea together, but it’s time for you to go back now.”

 

Harvey swallowed the lump of emotion lodging in his throat.  “To what Ma? An empty life?”

 

Grace shook her head with tears in her crystal blue eyes.  “Oh Honey, didn’t you hear a word I said?” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Now, stand up and hug your old Mom. Let me see how tall you’ve really grown.”  Harvey did as he was told and cradled her lovingly to him not wanting to ever let her go again. She felt like he remembered before the cancer; before her light faded and extinguished altogether. “Tell me you love me.”

 

“I love you Mom.”

 

“I love you too my little red lion.” She kissed him once more, pulling back to cradle his cheek one final time.  “Now go. Remember, be brave and you won’t fail. Understand?”

 

Harvey nodded even though he wasn’t completely certain what he was agreeing too; it merely felt important to accept her words as truth.  Harvey picked up his hat and was on his way to the door of the Victorian home when he paused and turned back to address her, only Grace was gone.  With a heavy; yet no longer completely shattered heart; Harvey continued to the entry way of the house and opened the door. He woke up abruptly to the sound of his alarm ringing and he clapped a large hand down upon it.  Groaning he rubbed his face before looking back over his shoulder; Jim was no longer in bed with him but he could see him from the open bedroom door in the kitchen.

 

Harvey grunted and sat up placing his feet upon the floor. He felt like his entire body was trembling, dizzy and vulnerable. Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands back through his red hair, the taste of sweetened tea upon his tongue.

 

“Love you Ma.” He whispered.


	3. Chapter 57: Gordlock Companion - The After Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey faces his destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter for the companion pieces to Starrrz's Chapter 57 of Gordlock Fills. Read it and love it! Thank you once more Starrrz for letting me briefly inhabit your created world.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. 
> 
> For my very own light, my wife!

** Chapter 57: Gordlock Companion - The After Glow **

Three days. Jim had been missing for three days and Harvey had been out of his head with worry.  He pushed himself to every limit he had and then shoved himself beyond that in his desperation to find his partner.  Jim was his best friend; his brother; the love of his life and nothing else mattered to him but finding Jim and bringing him home.  The unwavering belief that Jim was alive somewhere in Gotham was the talisman that Harvey clung too.  The dream, vision; whatever the hell it was; he had regarding his mother so many nights ago plagued him at the peripheral. She had told him that he would be afraid, that it would hurt; and Harvey had never known pain as agonizing as this, nor feared that he had lost everything that mattered in the world. She insisted that he be brave and Harvey was trying; truly committing himself to do so but as the hours ticked on the more his options narrowed. Grace Bullock had promised her son that when the moment of his destiny arrived that he would recognize it.

 

He did.

 

When he found Jim through use of his abilities, the man was barely alive, but he _was_ breathing.  Harvey had known the instant he kicked in the door of where Jim had been bleeding and broken for three days that this was the moment he had been building towards his entire life.  Jim; _Jim_ was the reason for everything and Harvey wasted no time getting Jim the medical attention he needed, heedless of the fact that he was ready to collapse himself.  As he waited for the sounds of the sirens to near, he cradled Jim to him and kissed his temple and begged him to hang on.  He promised Jim the world and gratefully saw the hint of a shimmer.  Jim had faded but he wasn’t extinguished, and Harvey tightened his arms protectively around him.

 

“I’m here Baby.” He whispered to Jim’s battered flesh. “I’m here and I got you. I got you. Hang in there, okay? I’m here.”

 

He wouldn’t leave the hospital.  He refused to leave Jim’s side while the younger man was still unconscious. Harvey had called in a favor from a Uniform patrolman and had him raid his locker at work for toiletries and change of clothes. The nurses took pity upon Harvey and fed him after they permitted him to shower in Jim’s private bathroom.  He was a mess, exhausted and on the verge of ending up in a hospital bed himself but he would not leave.  Against his will, he fell asleep in the hard-plastic chair at Jim’s bedside and rested his head upon Jim’s hand; the one he hadn’t let go of only for a few minutes since the ambulance arrived at the crime scene. When Jim stirred that the unbelievable happened.

 

Jim shown and told Harvey that he was in love with him.

 

The day Jim was released from the hospital he insisted that Harvey take him back to his place instead of Jim’s.  He wanted to be with Harvey, surrounded by the older male in every conceivable way and Harvey couldn’t agree more.  They went by Jim’s to get basic wardrobe and comfort items, but left the rest for a later time when Jim could break his lease and move in completely with Harvey.  For now, Jim was cocooned in bedclothes using Harvey’s chest as pillow. Per Jim’s request both men were naked just enjoying the intimacy of being physically close to one another.  Jim dozed and Harvey stroked Jim’s hair, the flesh of his arm and back as he held him tenderly.  There was so much bruising still coloring his battered body that would take more time to heal.  Jim tried to assure him that it looked worse than it felt but Harvey knew better. He was going to do everything in his power to keep Jim close and relaxed so he could recuperate faster. Knowing Jim, he was chomping at the bit to get back to work but he was far from able too, and for this moment he was calm, quiet and in agreement with Harvey that being home wasn’t so bad. Today: tomorrow when Harvey was getting ready for work would be another matter entirely. He had put in for time off but hadn’t received the approval yet, hoping that when he went into work he could fenagle the time away out of H.R. with Enssen’s blessing.

 

“You’re quiet in my head. But I know you’re there. I can _feel_ you.”  Harvey revealed placing a few tender kisses upon the top of Jim’s head.  “You’re happy.” Not a question but a statement and Jim murmured something in affirmative response and pushed close to Harvey.

 

“Shh.” Jim hushed, eyes closed and speech slurred with sleep.  “Closesureyes.” Jim grunted contentedly and burrowed his cheek against Harvey’s chest. “S’warm.”

 

Harvey couldn’t help but chuckle at the adorable attempts at conversation Jim was making when all he wanted to do was fall asleep. “Okay, I’ll shut up.” He kissed Jim’s head once more.  He didn’t promise he would follow suit but he could be silent.  As Jim succumbed to slumber Harvey continued to caress his hair with the occasional kiss, and kept stroking bare flesh with his fingertips. He could see the bright light shrouding Jim that had greeted him the day of their introduction, yet a muted enough that he wasn’t nearly knocked on his ass from it because Jim was calm; not burning from the inside out with frustrated determination.  Contented, Harvey closed his eyes and issued a thankful prayer to the dream he had of his mother, for reminding him that his fears were not facts, but merely his insecurities clouding his vision.  His mother had always believed he had a destiny, and for the past two years Harvey had believed that his sole purpose for living was Jim Gordon; now they both were proved right.

 

Jim looked around the room realizing it was a parlor of some type. The furnishings were from the Victorian age and abruptly he noticed a redhaired woman seated upon a couch.  She appeared to be in her sixties and was dressed for a decade prior to the current one. Before her upon the coffee table were finger foods and a tea set with only two cups.

 

“Hello Jim.” She greeted pleasantly, a familiar glint in her crystal blue eyes.

 

Instantly on guard Jim glanced away from her familiar features and gave the room a final once over before addressing her in return.  “Hello. Who are you?”

 

“Grace.” She replied as if that explained everything. “Please.” She said patting the couch next to her. “Sit here. There’s little time and I want to make the most of it.”

 

Jim slowly moved towards the couch. “What’s supposed to happen? Why are you concerned about a time frame? And I’m sorry, but do I know you from somewhere Grace?”

 

“In a manner. Yes. You do.” Grace patted the cushion with a little more insistence and Jim sat with a large space between them. Grace immediately set about pouring tea into the cups, not even asking if he wanted any.  “Now, to answer your other two questions, I don’t know what is going to happen. And yes, that’s the way things work regarding time.” She held out the cup and saucer for Jim. “Now that all your questions are answered- “

 

“Hardly.” Jim took the proffered china from her hands.

 

“Don’t interrupt dear, it’s terribly rude.” Though she scolded him Grace’s tone remained pleasant. “I understand you’re in love with Harvey.”

 

Shocked at the pronouncement Jim lowered the cup and saucer.  “I don’t see how that’s any of your business. “

 

“I suppose you’re right about that; in a way. It is little of my business but I’m making it so. You listen to me, Jim Gordon.”

 

“How do you know my name?”

 

“Oh, you are full of questions, aren’t you? Accept so little on faith. I know you have it, I’ve been told you have exceptional instincts but you’re letting yourself get in the way of this moment.  I told you, we’re short on time and I’ll not waste the only opportunity I have to spend with you. Why are you so stubborn?”

 

“I’m a Gordon.”

 

Grace smiled at this, enjoying Jim’s deadpan reprove of her own behavior. “That you are dear, but soon enough you’ll be a Bullock.”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed.  “You seem sure of that.”

 

Grace smirked as she took a sip of her tea.  “Would you do anything for him?”  She asked slowly lowering the cup to the saucer in her opposite hand.  She could feel Jim’s gaze scrutinizing her and every detail about the room.

 

“Harvey?” He asked to make certain the woman was still speaking of his lover. It irked him that she was hauntingly familiar but that he could not place her and she would not reveal to him how they knew one another.  “What’s your interest in him?”

 

“Answer the question Jim, there’s no time for games.”

 

“So, you say.” Jim wet his lips and searched her blue gaze. The fire burning behind it prodded at the back of his mind.  “Fine. I love him, therefore, yes. I would.”

 

Relief showed upon Grace’s features. She placed the saucer and cup upon the coffee table and reached out towards Jim, taking the cup from him and placing his china upon the table surface as well. This completed she took one of Jim’s hands within her own.

 

“Listen to me Jim Gordon; the two of you are going to face much in your lives, vast amounts of bad, but there will be good too.” Grace paused and applied pressure to their union of hands.  “No matter what you face, Harvey will face it with you. All you must do to is allow him to stand at your side. If you can do that, then the darkness won’t be so daunting. You’ll have happiness, Jim; _true_ happiness.  Can you do that Jim? Let Harvey face life at your side? He has a gift and was meant to use it to help others, but he needs someone to care for him; to care for.  Help him Jim. Love him and keep him close in your mind; tell him everything and you won’t ever be alone again.”

 

Jim shook his head and it canted to one side as he gazed at her. “How do you know all this Grace?”

 

“Because I know Harvey, and he knows you. For me? That’s more than enough.” She patted the top of Jim’s hand and slowly released her hold upon him and stood up. “Now, come here and let me get a true look at you.” Obediently Jim rose to his feet and Grace placed her hands upon his biceps, sweeping her gaze over him until she locked gazes with him.  “You’re a fine man on the outside Jim Gordon, but your insides better be a hell of a lot more beautiful. Understand?”

 

“I think so.” He comprehended the gist of what she was saying but not entirely as it pertained to his relationship with Harvey. That was the topic she seemed most interested in.

 

Grace smiled and pulled him forward into an embrace. She placed a gentle kiss upon his cheek and Jim felt instantly relaxed. As she pulled away from him he abruptly realized where he had seen that fire in her gaze before.

 

“Grace, are you related to Harvey?”

 

Grace laughed melodically and placed her palms together her expression quite pleased.  “Be good to my little red lion, Jim. Or there will be hell to pay.” Grace granted him a small wave and turned to walk away. Jim watched her leave and a second later his eyes opened and he was lying in bed with Harvey.

 

“Wait!” He called out startling Harvey awake.

 

“What is it Jim? What’s the matter?”

 

Both men sat up a little and with a confused expression Jim looked at Harvey.  “Nothing. I was, I was just dreaming. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Still shaken by Grace’s disappearance Jim looked around the room half expecting her to be discretely closing the bedroom door out of respect for his and Harvey’s current state of undress.

 

“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to doze off. Wasn’t aware I actually had.” Harvey reached out and stroked Jim’s hair with the fingertips of his right hand. Jim looked at him and wet his lips, abruptly leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss to his lover’s mouth.  “That wasn’t a kiss.” Harvey teased pulling Jim back in for a proper and impassioned kiss. Jim easily melted into him and Harvey’s breathing quickened. “Better.” He praised upon Jim pulling back to look at him.

 

“Glad you approve.” Jim chuckled and pressed his forehead against Harvey’s.  “Did I ever thank you for saving my life?”

 

“Once or twice now.” Harvey admitted tenderly. He closed his eyes allowing the timbre of Jim’s voice wash over him. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.” Harvey kissed Jim not being able to quite believe that they were in his bed together lounging.  Jim had told Harvey that he was in love with him and knew how Harvey felt in return. Was he dreaming or had his life finally begun?  Harvey’s finger closed around the honey colored hair at the nape of Jim’s neck and his opposite hand trailed down Jim’s chest gently, avoiding bruises when he could as not to cause Jim pain.

 

“Thank you for saving my life.” Jim breathed before kissing Harvey once more.  For the next few minutes they traded slow, profound kisses until Jim pulled back dizzy from the lack of oxygen to his brain. He was half hard and could feel that Harvey was mirroring his desire. They had done nothing sexual past kissing as their relationship was that new and Jim was still healing; soon however all bets would be off and Jim had a feeling they would be going at it like jack rabbits.  As it was the mere thought of Harvey excited him to the bone and his hands couldn’t remain still upon the expanse of skin they now had full access too.

 

“Thank you for saving **_mine_**.” Harvey replied laying back down to place his head upon the pillows and pulled Jim with him.

 

Jim followed easily and half lay on Harvey’s torso, smiling down into his face and stroking his fingers through the thickness of Harvey’s hair. “You know, it is kinda like a mane.” Jim lay his head upon Harvey’s chest and rubbed his face lightly over the dusting of gray and brown hairs there.  “I guess you are a red lion.” The instant the affectionate words were past his lips Jim felt Harvey go completely rigid.

 

Harvey grabbed Jim by the arms forcing Jim to look at him. “What did you say? What did you just call me?”

 

Jim swallowed, the fear and upset swarming behind Harvey’s dark blue eyes like a hive of angry wasps concerned him.  “It was nothing just something someone said to me in a dream.”

 

Confusion contorted Harvey’s expression. “ _Dream_?” He released Jim and moved to roll away from him. Jim retreated watching Harvey get out of bed and pull on boxers and a t-shirt. “Tell me. Everything! Don’t leave a detail out.”

 

“Can I ask why?”

 

“Jim just do it!” Harvey half begged half ordered desperation showing clearly upon his features.

 

Disquieted by the entire exchange Jim sat up and pulled the bedclothes to his waist. “There was this house. Old, Victorian I think. The furniture- “Harvey paled and looked like he was about to collapse. “Harvey? Are you alright?”

 

Harvey extended an arm to prevent Jim from moving to get out of bed. His heart was palpitating and chest noticeably heaving as he demanded, “Was there a woman there?”

 

Jim nodded once slowly. “Grace.”  Harvey felt his throat close and he moved rapidly to sit down before his knees buckled. He wouldn’t have made it if Jim had not moved faster and aided him.  “Jesus Harv, tell me what’s wrong. “

 

“My- “Harvey cleared his throat bringing his voice up to an audible level. He turned his head slowly to look Jim. “My mother’s name was Grace.”

 

Jim cocked his head to one side and began rubbing Harvey’s back the action soothing to them both.  “Are you telling me you believe I had a dream with **your** _mother_ in it? Why would you think that?”

 

“Because of the house!” Harvey exclaimed finding his voice once more. His hands began to gesture with his usual flailing.  “My mother loved Victorian houses. She always wanted one but we could never afford it; she used to collect pictures of the damned things and look at them while she had tea in the afternoons.” Harvey ran a hand back through his hair shook his head. “I _dreamt_ about her a few weeks ago. She warned me that something was going to happen and a little while later you’re beaten and left for dead.” Gaze pleading with Jim to keep up with the chain of events he was trying his best to explain, Harvey paused.  “She was in one of those houses, we had tea and-“ Harvey read Jim’s expression and arched an eyebrow. “What? I know that look Jim.”

 

“We did the same thing. Had tea.”

 

This time acceptance rolled through Harvey’s body causing his shoulders to round and his body to relax. “She’s the only one that ever called me her little red lion. It was her special name for me and I never told anybody, ever. So, explain that to me Jim? If it was just a _dream_ then how the hell can you know that nick name?”

 

“I honestly don’t know.” Jim took a visible breath and stroked back Harvey’s hair. “What I **do** know is that I didn’t call you that to hurt you.”

 

Harvey leaned his forehead against Jim’s. “I know you didn’t, Jim.” He kissed Jim upon the forehead prior to going back to their previous stance.  “It’s just she called me that and,” Harvey allowed the rest of the sentence to trail off and this time Jim kissed the nape of his neck and embraced him.

 

“I’ll never say it again. Deal?”

 

Harvey grunted and looked at Jim.  “No deal. If it comes up every now and again in private, I think I can handle it.”

 

“You sure?” Jim’s blue eyes shimmered with affection and mirth. “Because I don’t want to sully the memory of your ‘ _special’_ nick name from your Mom.”

 

Harvey laughed. “Shut up, idiot.”

 

“Is that _my_ special name now?”

 

The only reply that Harvey gave him was pulling Jim against him for a heated kiss.


End file.
